After the "My boss & I" article, i saw this at another corner in SCN. Very funny as well! It's called the "Work Rules":
This is not allowed under any circumstances. We will no longer accept your MC as proof of illness. If you can walk to your doctor, you can certainly come to work.
2. Death, other than your own
You must arrange to attend all funerals very late in the day after your work is done. This is provided we approved your leave.
3. Death, your own
This is acceptable as an excuse, but we would like at least 2 weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.
4. Personal hygiene
Entirely too much time is spent in the loo. In the future you will follow appointed time to go, according to alphabetical order of names. If you miss it, you must wait till the next day when your time comes around again.
5. Quantity of work
No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough. Please do not have doubt on this matter.
6. Quality of work
The minimum acceptable level is perfection at all times.
7. Advice from owner
Eat a live frog the first thing in the morning and you will be hopping around all day without feeling tired.
8. The boss is ALWAYS right.
9. When the boss is wrong, please refer to rule 8.
Darn funny work rules..but in fact, my department is currently super short of JMO/HOs..3 are leaving by next week and there'll be only 5 left..sigh calls every other day are gonna be inevitable. By then, these work rules are probably becoming reality? Hope NOT..!!