Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Some Medical Jokes

Just came across an old book of mine, and found some good jokes worth sharing I think..


Nurse: "Doctor, doctor - the man you just treated collapsed on the front step! What should I do?"

Doctor: "Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!"


A patient called his dentist to inquire about the price of extracting a tooth.

"250 dollars," The dentist said.

The patient was shocked, "What? 250 dollars for just a few minutes work?"

"I can extract it very slowly if you like."


A patient complained to his doctor, "I've been to 3 other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis."

The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy. Then they'll see that I was right."


Harold complained to his doc that he was no longer able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

His doc ran the usual tests. When the examination was complete, Harold said, "Now, Doc, give it to me straight. I can take it. Just tell me, in plain English, what is wrong with me?"

"Well, in plain English," his doctor replied, "you're just plain lazy."

Harold paused. "Okay," he said. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

#5 (My favourite!)

Three doctors were in a duck blind and a bird flew overhead. The general practitioner looked at it and said, "Looks like a duck. Flies like a duck. It's probably a duck." He shot at it, but missed.

The next bird flew overhead. The pathologist looked at it, then consulted the pages of a bird manual. "Hmm," he said. "Green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound...might be a duck." He raised his gun to shoot it, but the bird was long gone.

A third bird flew over. The surgeon raised his gun and shot the bird without even looking. He turned to the pathologist and said, "Go see if that was a duck."

- extracted from "The Life of a Doctor".

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